Beauty Shmeauty

Why is it that girls feel they have to endure hours of torture for the sake of beauty? For instance, I recently spent 4 hours in a salon getting every bit of nutrience sucked from my hair just to look "pretty". Color, highlights, cut, style...the list goes on and on. As if that wasn't enough I decided to get my eyebrows plucked too. Talk about torture. I felt like I should have been giving up top secret military information after a session of that. Forget making the hostages stand on buckets or fondle each others privates, just schedule them for a "relaxing day of beauty" at their local salon. They'll be giving up Osama in no time flat.

Jinkees

Haircut,color, and foil=$60
Tip to the stylist=$20
Gas money roundtrip=$5
Turning out looking like Velma from Scooby Doo=priceless

Yummy!

Here's a funny story to tell the kiddies. I went out with my brother and a few friends last weekend to get my drink on. While we were out, my brother went from a very smart, funny guy to this slobbery, puky monster named Otis. Anyway, one of my friends drove us there, so when we got bounced out of the bar(my brother was curled up in the bathroom floor with his head resting peacefully on the urinal)this guy had to take us home. He had apparently been making out with some girl when we pulled him away. He drove like a madman to get us home and back before this girl leaves. He had decided in a matter of an hour that he was in love and couldn't live without this person. Obviously, the Jack and Coke was doing it's job. So, she goes home with him and being the nice guy he is, he holds her hair back while she puked. Hold on, here comes the funny. Apparently, while she was puking, she shit herself! OH GOD! Hold on while I wipe away the tears. Not only did she shit herself, but she was wearing my friends shorts at the time. But, being the trooper he is, he just told her to shower and they got it on anyway. Now, he is kind of bummed because she hasn't called him back since this whole "shitting" incident happened. He thinks it's because she doesn't like him. I think it could possibly be because...well...SHE SHIT HERSELF!! I'm sorry, if I got so drunk that I crapped my drawers, I would never again talk to anyone that had witnessed this experience. As a matter of fact, I'm afraid I would have to relocate to some small out of the way place...like Yemen.

Death by punking

So, I went to some punk show last night with my boyfriend. All I can really say about the guys I saw play was they really liked their treble. Maybe I'm just getting old, but heavens to betsy that music was just too darn loud. I have thought long and hard about how I could describe this music. The only thing I came up with was throwing a hundred angry cats at a blackboard with their claws out. Now I know that sounds a bit harsh, but I'm the one that has 4 to 6 weeks to wait for my ear drum to grow back. I actually saw one guy, who was smoking a cigarette, tear the filter off and shove it into his ear. How punk rock is that? I guess desperate times call for desperate measures.