Crazy Train

Every now and then someone comes along that seems to think they are far more of a man than they really are. Take this guy Mike for instance. You can refer to the pants shitting story for more of a background on Mike. Yep, he's that guy. I have known him for about 10 years and in this time I have made it more than clear that nothing will ever happen between us. In 10 years you would think he would get the point. My best friend and I have always called him "The Man",(Kinda like calling a tall guy "Shorty" or a fat guy "Slim"),which may be to blame for his over-confidence. Regardless, he went too far this weekend and is now being "Blogged". Anyone who knows me should now know that if you fuck with me you will be made a fool on my site. Anyhoo, I was out this weekend with my brother and some friends of ours when Mike shows up with a friend of his. I tend to be a bit of a flirt from time to time and having alcohol in the picture only enhances this. I mean come on, I was with my brother, my friend Matt (who is like a brother to me), and my friend Aaron who is repulsive in an alcoholic way. I was dying to flirt with someone, Mike just happened to be the one that showed up. Back to the story, we were flirting back and forth with each other and being silly. We sat down at a table with everyone and he was rubbing my leg and putting his arm around me. Now, any other time I would have thought this to be a bit odd, but having drank more than I should, it seemed to be fine. So, here we are, when out of no where he asks,"What are you doing."  I just looked at him with this "What?" expression on my face. I replied,"Just sittin' here. What are you doing." He then went on to tell me that I was trying to sleep with him to get back at his roommate(the ex-boyfriend from my previous entries). Um...nope. I'm sorry, I am all about revenge and pissing someone off, but OH HEEEELLLLL NO! If I wanted to piss my ex-boyfriend off by sleeping with his friends I would sleep with his best friend George. Now that is some yummy man meat. I am just not into revenge sex. Even if I was I still wouldn't sleep with him. So, he gets up from the table and walks off. Here I am sitting there in my drunken stupor trying to figure out how I had been rejected by this monstrosity when I didn't even ask to be with him. When he came back to the table he made his friend sit next to me to avoid any further contact. This made me even more confused. I got up and walked over to find out when the insanity and miscommunication happened. He just hugged me and said,"Don't worry, there's still love for you."  My mouth was now hanging open in utter shock. Here is this guy that for 10 years has been hitting on me and trying to hook up. The guy that I have rejected everytime he made an advance and he had the balls to think I was trying to sleep with him. So having said that, he turned on his heels,with his nose in the air and shoulders cocked back like he had just won the greatest victory of them all, and galloped up the stairs and back to his miserable life. Any other time and I would have been able to school him on a few things, but this particular night I was out of sorts. I was finding it hard enough trying to remember what happened from one minute to the next. But, trying to come up with an ass kickin in this state was out of the question. There are very few times that I am rendered speechless and I am thankful for that, but this was not an ordinary night anyway. I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that he thought I was trying to hook up or cry because I had been rejected by McCall. Either way, I was going to find out. Later that night I walked up to Zydeco with one of my friends and Mike was there. I had it planned in my head what I would say and how wide I would rip him open. As we walked up to the door he was walking down the stairs with his friend. They had apparently gotten into a fight with some rednecks and were going to find a less hillbilly bar. Right as I open my mouth to give him the what for, he leans over and kisses my cheek and says,"Don't look so down, I still love you." What the fuck is that? Then he scampers away into the night. Man, how did he burn me twice? I have so got to get him back for this. It's a dark day when I can be struck down by the likes of Michael McCall. Revenge is mine.