What Would Elvis Do?

I just received a phone call from a really close friend who seemed to be shaken about something.

Friend: I have to tell you something.
Me:Ok.
Freind: Something happened to me a few minutes ago and you are the only one that I can tell.
Me: What's wrong?
Friend: Ya know how I didn't go to sleep last night?
Me:Yeah.
Friend: Well, I just passed out on the toilet.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What's that like, Elvis?
Friend: I was so scared. I don't know how long I was out, but my legs were asleep and I didn't know where I was.
Me: So were you still on the toilet when you woke up or were you ass up in the bathroom floor?
Friend: No, I was still on the toilet with my head against the wall.
Me: Did you have toilet paper stuck to your cheek and graffiti on your forehead?
Friend: No...well I don't think so.
Me: So what was it? The cool porcelain on your butt or the lovely smell of 2000 Flushes Blue?
Friend: I don't know, I just had to tell you. You are the only one I could tell.
Me: Thanks. I'm glad we're at that point in our relationship where you can tell me about passing out on the shitter. I'm not sure how to take that really.